in which I am back in Africa

 

Last look at Europe.

There's something indescribably emotional about airplane rides for me. 

Well, not indescribable.   Just complicated.

Because every flight, no matter how short, has to encompass the entire process of mourning the place you are leaving, and swallowing down the apprehension you feel towards your destination. 

I've had a lot of panic attacks on planes, but not because I'm scared of flying.

Ultimately this one wasn't so bad until about ten minutes before landing, when I kind of lost it. 

Me: Dude. We're about to land. In Africa.

Me: Uh, yeah, I know.

Me:WHY. WHY WHY. 

Me: Because we live there....?

Me: LET'S NOT LIVE THERE ANYMORE. LET'S GO BACK TO UTAH.

Me: Uh, no. That would be a poor life choice right now.

Me: NO IT WOULDN'T IT WOULD BE GREAT A GREAT LIFE CHOICE OF GREATNESS

Me: I'm sorry, do you have a job in Utah?

Me: No...

Me: Or a husband?

Me:....no.....

Me: Or a bed?

Me: well, not exactly..

Me: THEN HUSH YO FACE.

Me: But Africa is bad! It's trying to kill us!

Me: Well THAT is not a rational thought..

Me: KILLLLL USSSSSSS

Me: That's an unreasonable number of consonants. Get a hold of yourself. 

Me: EVERY TIME WE GO THERE BAD STUFF GOES DOWN.

Me: Oh, that doesn't mean anything. This time will be different!

Me: What is it they say about doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results...?

Me: You're having a fight with yourself and you want to question my mental stability right now? Really?

Me: Well....LET'S JUST TURN THE PLANE AROUND. 

Me: That's impossible.

Me: [string of expletives]!!

Me: [string of expletives]?

Me: [expletive]!

Me: [expletive].

Jumping ahead to the end of this feelings-fueled Gollum freakfest, I'm back in Africa. 

The trip wasn't that bad, actually. While AirFrance seems to be the chosen airline of the French hipsters (ew.) they also have a spectacular cinematic library, so I watched a crapton of movies, including Looper (so intense!) Hitchcock (so adorable!) and The Silver Linings Playbook, which I actually did not think I'd like. I was kind of anticipating it to be J Law as the manic pixie dream girl  who rescues Bradley Cooper with like, bubbles. Or whatever. I'm kind of super over manic pixie dream girls. 

But that wasn't how it went down, so that was good. I can't think of any way to convey how much I loved this movie without giving the whole thing away, so...I don't know, guys. But now I really want to know if all bipolar people chuck books with stupid endings, or if it's just me and Bradley Cooper..?

I'm sure it's normal.