Friday, November 30, 2012

in which I share five happy-making things

number five of my thing that I'm sort of doing. 

5 things that make me happy right now:

5. This video:

To be clear, I'm not really a big fan of infidelity music -Robyn, you home wrecker, you- but I've totally been replaying this for the past fourty eight hours. It sounds like a reject from the original footloose soundtrack, in the best way possible. Although honestly, is it possible for a song to sound like it belongs on the footloose soundtrack in a bad way? I would  argue, no, it is not.
Furthermore I'm pretty sure she planted hidden cameras in my home to capture her choreography inspiration. Rolling around on the floor is MY move, Robyn. MINE.

Plus, I totally want her outfit. I'll just make a sweater from my own hair, but I'll get these pants instead.


It will be excellent.


4. Blistex fruit smoothies chapstick, but only the green one.

Friends, I will be the first to admit I have a chapstick problem. I love chapstick. And lipstick. And lipgloss. And lipstain. And lipbalm.  I could say something about oral fixation issues, but I know the jokes that will come of that.
Anyways, I buy a lot of chapstick. Burt's Bees (the peppermint one!) and Blistex's melon medley are my favourites.  Burt's Bees makes me feel like a magical ice princess, Blistex makes me feel cool and artistic (Melon Medley was the chapstick of choice for the artsy girls in my middles school). Oh, and the Blistex tastes delicious. Just in case you have to kiss someone. Perhaps in an Emergency. You know.
I brought three tubes of this with me to Senegal, and I've already used one up. It's kind of a problem.


You can buy these here.

3. My super janky iphone
Oh man. I get how people get addicted to their smart phones. I don't think I'm quite there yet, but I love it. Best hundred bucks I've spent in a long time. (It's a 3g with a sticky home button, hence getting it on the cheap) If it is stolen/ breaks tomorrow, it will have totally been worth it for the ability to still text and call people stateside fo freeee- because ultimately, there are few things that make me happier than a phone call from a good friend. 


2.Water
My mom made our driver drag our old culligan dispenser upstairs so I could have delicious beverages and not have to die of dehydration or [literally] drag my butt downstairs.
WATER IS THE ELIXIR OF LIFE. I drink upwards of 5 liters a day (hopefully this is not a symptom of cancer, or anything). I'm totally serious when I say drinking a liter of water will make you feel better. It is the universal cure for all ailments! Closely followed by chicken mc nuggets, which I really miss.

1. Living with my Family
While I do admittedly miss having an identity beyond "Col. Jones' daughter," there are a lot of things I love about living with my family again. (No worries though, still moving out in August) Getting psyched about Christmas again? Awesome. Talking for an hour with my mom after dinner? Very awesome. Right now I'm watching 10 Things I Hate About You with my sister and dad. It's such the greatest. 

Basically, for all the time I spend whining about my life, there are a lot of things in it that make me happy- and yes, some of them are pretty materialistic. I think that's okay. And for these and more, I am grateful. 



Thursday, November 29, 2012

in which I offer some bedroom advice

(Note: by bedroom advice, I'm not talking about sex. Beds are for sleeping. Couches are for fooling around. [juuuuust kidding {sort of}] )

Kids, my advice repartee is limited. It's basically restricted to "Drink more water," "Be nice to animals," and, if I'm really worried about you, you may get a come to Jesus talk along the lines of "Don't drink/Do drugs/Sleep around so much" or "Counseling could be very beneficial to you!"
But today I'm adding a new one: "Don't take your ambien and then watch American Horror Story."

But first, some background:

Getting ready for bed is my favourite time of day, easily. I don't know why this is. I have a very set routine that I follow, and I find it very relaxing. It's also no big secret that I love sleeping, so that's probably a factor too. Basically I change into my pj's-aka boxer shorts and hoodie- wash my face, put on my night time sunscreen (okay, it's lotion, but it has spf in it) and chapstick, take my meds, drink a liter of water, crawl into my mosquito net of solace and  log my food and feelings for the day into my phone (shout out to my iphone- you make me a better person and I'm sorry I dropped you on the floor). Then I basically watch friends until I fall asleep around 22.00, 22.30.  It's marvelous.

However, as I've mentioned before, my sleeping habits of the past few weeks have not been stellar. A fabulous combination of insomnia and waking up at 3AM, added with the fatigue side effect I've learned to anticipate from my meds, means I've been really tired all the time. In and of itself, that sucks. It also makes me even more emotional, and believe me when I say I have more than enough feelings to go around. But it was getting to the point where I couldn't be awake and form thoughts at the same time, so I convinced my brain doctor to give me a sleeping pill.

Children, listen to me. Sleeping pills are tiny pieces of mana from heaven.

BUT

Like all medication, they should be taken properly. If your doctor says only take a tiny little sliver that you carefully chop of, then you only take a tiny little sliver. Do not take them with alcohol, ever. Do not take them back to back in order to black out for as long as possible. As the killers so eloquently wrote, sleep is a bitter form of refuge. Do not take them- even your recommended dose- and then go about doing things that are not sleeping. BAD THINGS WILL HAPPEN TO YOU. Also you'll probably make some weird confessions to people, and God help you if you find a phone, I swear it's worse than drunk dialing. It's like, being drunk but then blacking out and then thinking all you did was take a refreshing nap, or something.
IT'S LIKE THE AIRPLANE SCENE FROM BRIDESMAIDS BUT IN REAL LIFE.

"She's dressed in traditional Colonial garb..."

Because I am now a responsible grown-up lady, I take my sleeping pills in a responsible grown-up way, at the same time I take my anti-malarials. I mean, see my above bedtime routine. I'm thirty one flavours of responsible. 
However, last night I was all excited from book club (I am nothing if not easily excitable, after all) and I thought I would change my routine up a bit by finishing an episode of American Horror Story in place of my usual friends. 
Basically, at one point I thought my computer was on fire and the nazis were coming to kill us but I was too tired to do anything about it. 

And that is why we dont' take our ambien and then watch American Horror Story.

(Oh! and I'm totally less tired now. Mana from heaven, I say!)

Also- anytime I think of computers being on fire, I go straight to that scene from the IT crowd. 



Also Also- does anyone else watch American Horror Story? If so, can you please explain to me why you like it? I haven't made up my mind on how I feel about it yet. 


Tuesday, November 27, 2012

TIA

TIA = This is Africa.
It's a quote from Blood Diamond, which I have not actually seen, but they did film it in a country where my dad was then working and Leo Dicaprio had to go into the embassy to get a visa issue ironed out and my own dear father could not be bothered to WALK DOWN THE HALL to go and see him. DOWN. THE HALL. TO LEONARDO DICAPRIO.
I feel this is an accurate portrayal of my father's work ethic and lack of appreciation for beautiful men.
I mean, he could have at least gotten me an autograph.
aisch.

Anyways, here are some of my thoughts about Africa today:

-I keep forgetting this is a muslim country, which means they have delicious food to be had here. (Greek chicken wrap from the embassy caf, I am looking at you, my love.) They also totally have polygamy, which I keep forgetting about until I overhear conversations debating which wife should be invited to events. I'd say bring all the muslim sister wives because
a) I love me some sister wives, and
b) Ladies love to be invited places.
Then I realized that would not work out, as there would be no one left to babysit. Sorry, sister wives!

-To the toubab girls in booty shorts and mini skirts:
GO HOME AND PUT SOME CLOTHES ON.
If we were in your home country, I'd be all like, yeah! wear whatever you want! girl power!
BUT WE ARE NOT IN YOUR HOME COUNTRY. You are being disrespectful to your host nation, and your home nation. Shame on you.
(I am looking at you, French hipsters. You know better than that.)

Oh, also I've been walking down stairs on my crutches wrong (apparently you're just supposed to hop?) and I've been putting my life in danger THIS WHOLE TIME.

bonus african iphone picture:

Go home, Dakar taxies. You are drunk. 

Sunday, November 25, 2012

in which I speak vaguely of hard things and forgiveness and God

I seem to be awake at three A.M. a lot these days.
It's probably a side effect of meds, but I'm having a lot of trouble falling asleep. If I take a pill to fall asleep, I still wake up at three in the morning.

I think about a lot of things at three AM: what I'm going to eat for breakfast, what homework I need to do, this damn 30 days list.

On the off chance you haven't noticed, my plan to write things every day is not going so well. It's not for lack of free time, or even lack of commitment- the problem is that I don't want to answer some of the questions on this list I chose myself.
Well, one question in particular:

Number eighteen- What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?

This is a question that I think about at three AM; but not because I don't know the answer.

So now I'm going to skip ahead and try and answer this question, because I think maybe I need to, and because I'm allowed to break out of order on my own blog.

This is me, speaking vaguely of hard things and forgiveness and God.

If you've known me for any significant period of time, you probably already know that I'm quick to offend and slow to forgive.  I've probably expected you to mutually hate someone with me based off a minor miscommunication. Basically, I have the social skills of a middle schooler, and it's likely that I always will. However, once I've forgiven a wrong-doing, whether actual or perceived, it's like it never happened.  I've always considered that to be one of my better traits.

But there is one thing that, no matter how much I feel I've forgiven, I keep coming back to.

When I was fifteen, I experienced an injustice that threw my world off of it's axis. I'm not going to go into detail here- this is not a event in my life I like to talk about with anyone, no matter how much I love them. Not even myself.
I was the victim of other people's choices, and in a way I was robbed of the right to make my own.

I don't know if I will ever fully forgive this.

For a while, I really thought I had-  I'd tried to rationalize the actions of my transgressors, tried to understand the social, political, psychological, and emotional aspects that would drive someone to those actions. I thought I had it figured out, thought I had let it go.

And really, I was okay for a while. But after a few years, I started running into triggers- a name in a book, an overheard piece of conversation, a familiar scent- that would set me off, and I would completely lose it. If you're looking to test your conversation skills, try explaining to the management of your gym why you've spent the past ten minutes in their locker room, sobbing so hard that you can't breathe.

I may always be one word away from rage, from paralyzing fear, from a sadness so deep it will swallow you whole.

That's one of the bigger things I struggle to forgive- not that I was hurt, but that I was hurt at a time in my life that would effect my entire adult being. I once spoke with a woman much wiser than myself who had experienced a childhood trauma, and one thing she said in particular stood out to me: "Maybe I would have been someone who laughs."
Maybe I would have been someone who trusts. Maybe I would have been someone capable of maintaining a healthy relationship. Maybe I would have been someone who laughs.


There are countless resources I've pursued in my search for forgiveness: a lot of books, a hell of a lot of therapy, God.

Oh, God.

I was once a devout and unquestioning Mormon. Granted, I was fourteen at that time, so I think that hardly counts. But I was. I believed that I was born to experience hard things, and that belief helped me cope with several aspects of my life, from moving every few years to my quickly blossoming mental illness. I believed that how I reacted to these things would ultimately lead to blessings and happiness later in life.

When I was fifteen I believed that I was born to experience hard things; things so hard I would not know how to handle them on my own. I believed that when the time came, I would be able to turn to my religion to get through them. But when I sought my religion out for support, it did not come through for me. God still loves you, their mouths said, while their actions screamed: But we do not.
After a while of finding no relief, my beliefs shifted. I still believed in God- I always have, I always will- I just didn't think he was particularly concerned with me. I'd be lying if I said I don't still feel this way, some days.

I also started to think that if God wasn't worried about me, maybe I shouldn't spend so much time worrying about him. I still went to church most of the time, but I also started to seek relief from other, ultimately harmful sources. I thought a lot about suicide.

This is what I looked like at fifteen. I loved scented lotion and mystery novels and sufjan stevens. I also tore tiny holes in my skin and tried to think of a way to kill myself without having to make my whole family fly back to the States. 

I'm twenty years old now, twenty-one in a week in a half. I am once again a practicing Mormon. I still believe in God. 
I also have a folder of tattoo ideas, and when I'm not respectfully restraining myself I swear like a sailor.  I don't think this makes me a bad person. I don't even think this makes me a bad Mormon.

I believe in a religion of justice, and mercy, and love, and forgiveness. 

I know those qualities are not always reflected by the members of my religion. I am becoming okay with that. I still occasionally walk out of a meeting being governed by opinion and not doctrine, but I am trying. 

I believe that the God I pray to views our actions on a case by case basis. I believe the God I pray to is one of ultimate understanding and forgiveness. I personally don't think the God I converse with would be inclined to send someone to hell for drinking coffee, or marrying a person of the same gender, or even for hurting someone the way I was once hurt. 

I still don't understand why I've had to experience certain parts of my life. I am still learning to forgive. 

I believe that I was born to do hard things. 

What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?

I know we had this talk at three this morning, but I forgive you, God. 




In the Sun- Michael Stipe & Chris Martin



Friday, November 23, 2012

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

in which we interrupt our regularly scheduled blog post to bring you a PSA on hair washing

Ladies and Gentlemen, for the first time in two weeks I can say with the upmost certainty that my hair is clean.

Before ya'll get too grossed out, please remember that I broke my foot at the Marine Ball Saturday before last and have had a ghetto cast on my foot since then.

Here's a visual reminder for you. The cast is the bit that looks like it's growing out of my shoulder.

Anyways, since then I've pretty effectively been lazing about, because crutches are REALLY HARD YOU GUYS. And before you start thinking back to the time when you had crutches and were just fine, in fact you could to handstands on them, gee aren't crutches fun, I would like to raise the following two questions to you:
1) Do you currently have the upper body strength of a woodland squirrel? By that, I do not mean the amount of upper body strength proportional to the amount that a squirrel has, I mean do you have the upper body strength of a lil' tiny baby squirrel in your human sized upper body?
2) Are your balancing skills on par with that of a broken weeble wobble, aka, a weeble that wobbles and then falls down and can't get up?

If you answered "no" to either of those questions, then please hush your mouth because you obviously don't know my problems.

As I was saying, my hair has been super grody  [spellcheck says "grody" isn't a word, I'm still going with it] since then. To be clear, I've still been washing it- though I did throw around the idea of no bathe November, because I hate your facial hair and think you should be punished for it- but no matter how you cut it, washing your hair while straddling a bath tub while trying to keep six towels wrapped around your leg is just not that effective. This has also led to my having to explain a whore's bath to my mother. She did not find the title amusing.

However, today I was particularly depressed and whatnot, going through my mental list of things that usually cheer me up (by this point I had already watched grey's anatomy and cuddled a cat, so those were out) and I decided that the time had come for my hair to be thoroughly cleansed. Because clean soft silky hair cheers everybody up, my friends.

So, I took off my cast.
Before you freak out, it's not a full cast. It's like, three quarters of a cast plus multiple ace bandages. Though my Dr was all like, you still can't walk on it, and I was like, I wouldn't dream of it, and he was like, I just saw you walking on it like five seconds ago and I was like, yeah, but that was the part of my foot that ISN'T broken, and he was like...sigh....
Honestly though, the man moved my crutches and then expected me to sit still for twenty minutes without getting my book. I didn't have any other options, if you think about it. 

Anyways, I took off my cast, it hurt like crap, my leg looks super janky, I did not take pictures. There's also this super sketch bruise around the base of my toes that makes them look like they are about to fall off- is that normal? I'm too chicken to google it. 

AND THEN I TOOK THE MOST LOVELY SHOWER OF ALL THE SHOWERS IN THE LAND.
Ordinarily I'd actually classify it as a pretty mediocre shower, also I kinda slammed my broken foot down, so that hurt, but still. GLORIOUS. Exfoliating and singing songs that degrade women and everything. Side note, I sing really offensive songs in the shower, I do not know why I do this, also I have mad rapping skills. 
(Drop it drop it low, girl)

So the moral of this story is that my hair has been thoroughly washed, and now looks like this:

Shower fresh hair and crutches. This is my life now.

As I was taking my shower of all showers, and enjoying my squeaky clean hair, I marveled at my own grooming prowess and decided to bequeath you all with my beauty wisdom. 

So without further ado, here is Lissa's guide to washing your hair properly:

1) Don't do it.
For reals, you are probably washing your hair wayyyy too often. Even if yo stanky self needs to shower twice a day, every day (also bad for your skin, nbd) you do NOT need to wash your hair that many times. At the most, you should probably be washing your hair about three times a week- if you think your hair would be a total grease ball by doing this, you're probably wrong. It's very likely that your hair is over producing oil to compensate for the over washing you are currently forcing it through. Wash it less. Your hair will adapt. 
Ideally, though, you should wait as long as humanly possible to wash your hair, like that one week when you decided you couldn't stand your roommates and played musical beds and wore a lot of hats until you finally had the place to yourself long enough to deep condition (college, amiright?) No, but seriously, wait. Throw some baby powder around up there, nobody will know the difference. 

Baby powder. 
Also, I've started wearing a sports bra and running shorts all the time.
It makes me look sporty.
It also helps me not flash people when I fall down on my crutches.
Which I do like six times a day. 
This picture caption is ridiculously long. 

2) Shampoo the crap outta your crap.
Fun fact: you only need to shampoo the roots of your hair. If you're shampooing anymore than that, you are wasting product and money. Speaking of money, go buy yourself some nice shampoo and conditioner, guys. You're now only washing half of your hair, and you're doing it half as often, ergo you're using 1/4 of the product and can afford to buy shampoo four times as expensive that will actually make your hair look nice. 

The best shampoo money can buy!....at walmart. I'm still poor, guys. 

Also, get yourself a really big box of baking soda. I'm pretty sure there is nothing baking soda can't do. It's got like 15 different uses as a beauty product alone, it's awesome.  If you like your hair super clean, shampoo your hair twice: the first time you should combine equal amounts of baking soda and shampoo into a glorious hair cleaning paste. It's super awesome at removing product buildup and campfire smell and the beer that got spilled in your hair and other stuff that usually requires multiple showers. 

Here is a huge box of baking soda!
3) Condition your crap.
Fun fact: you only need to condition the ends of your hair, your natural oil takes care of your roots. So basically, slather a ton of that in your hair, comb it through, pull it back if your hair is long enough, do other shower things. Shave your legs. Wash your face with your baking soda (double points if you use a sonic brush). Sing the real slim shady. You know. Regular people stuff. 
Once you're done with your other shower stuff, rinse it out. Marvel at the smoothness. Ideally, you should rinse it out with ice cold water to close the cuticle of your hair, but I know some of you are babies and won't do that. I pretty much take cold showers to begin with because they're super energizing, and because I did swim team for years and years which means I'm hardcore and impervious to cold water, basically. 
Also, get yourself a jug of apple cider vinegar. It's like two dollars. Like baking soda, it also has a bajillion uses as a beauty product- but don't try to combine the two to try and save time, trust me, I'm speaking from experience. Anyways, to make your hair super shiny and soft, mix about 2 tbs with 1/4 cup of water, rinse your hair with it once you're done with your conditioner. It's awesome and you won't smell like a salad, I promise. 

Here is a huge bottle of vinegar!  
Also I've quit putting on makeup because it's too much standing.

4) Bonus step- Deep condition your conditioned crap.
Like once a week, dump like a fistful of deep conditioner in your dry hair and sleep in it. Your  hair will be silky silky silky.  I use orjon oil because I freaked out and splurged on it after I bleached my hair and fried the ends this summer. In all honesty, coconut oil works just as well and smells a heck of a lot better. 
I was going to take a picture of my deep conditioner but it's all the way in the other room.
Here's a sample size bottle of hair spray! It's so cute!

Thus concludes my guide to hair washing. Maybe next week I'll teach you to put on chapstick, or something equally as mundane. 

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

in which I am afraid of 3 things

Day two of my thirty things

I'm having a hard time thinking of three things I consider myself afraid of. There are plenty of things I'm not particularly excited to experience, but I don't think I'm afraid of them. Dying, for example. I'm not in any real big hurry to die. I would be deeply sad if any of my family or loved ones were to die. It would suck, and when the time comes, it's going to suck, but I don't think being afraid of it will prevent it from happening, or help process it better when the time comes. I'm not saying I choose not to be afraid- I'm just...not.

There are lots of things I'm not afraid of anymore- some of which I have control over, some of which I don't. I'm not afraid of the dark, of what's underneath my bed (all the stuff I can't fit in my dresser, mostly), of being raped and murdered (but please don't rape and murder me), of losing my mind.

However, there are still a few things that really creep me out; here are three of them:

1. Parasites.
I am terrified of another living, moving creature inhabiting my body. The very idea of getting mango worms super freaks me out, which my mother uses to her advantage whenever she humanly can (it's not funny anymore, MOM.)
Yes, I am aware that this might make my ever getting pregnant super awkward. No, I don't know what I'm going to do about that.

2. Being Paralyzed.
I'm not sure if this stems from reading Johnny Got His Gun (EXCELLENT book), or that reoccurring nightmare where no one can see or hear me. I imagine complete paralyzation would be something like that.

3. The Monster from Forbidden Planet.
Forbidden Planet is a sci fi movie from the 1950s that my dad showed my sisters and I when we were 8, 6, and 4 years old (one of these three children would refuse to leave her room at night for years because of this movie. just saying.) It features an invisible monster that keeps dismembering members of the space ship crew- and the only time the monster is seen is when it crosses into the field of the electric fence.

Ultimately it's revealed that the monster is controlled by the subconscious desires of its creator, the scientist who lives on the planet. 
Basically, SCIENCE WILL KILL YOU. 


Monday, November 19, 2012

in which I share 20 facts about me

Day one of my thirty things- thing.

1. I was vegan for four years. Not strict vegan, by any means, but still. This may come as a surprise to anyone who's ever seen me around dairy products-  I love me some milk, yo.

2. I love to talk. More specifically, I love to make people listen to me talk. My conversation skills are actually pretty lacking.

3. Physical contact I don't initiate makes me really uncomfortable.

4. February is hands down my least favourite month of the year.  Seriously, it's a horrible month. If I'm ever wildly wealthy, I'll take February as my mental health month to vacation in the Caribbean. This hatred, as far as I can tell, stems from the typical weather at that time of the year, and not Valentine's day. Though now that I mention it, I also really hate Valentine's day. Significant others are usually counseled to ignore the holiday all together. Ugh, February. Ugh, Valentines day.

5. My shopping skills are ridiculous. If you ask me nicely, I will extend them to you.

6. I'm a terrifically bad dancer. However, I love to dance, and will happily do so at your wedding, club, prom, or zumba class. Alas, in the words of Fozzy Bear, I don't got rhythm.

Oh, muppets. You feel me. 

7. Way too much of my self esteem hinges on other people thinking I'm funny. I don't care if you think I'm ugly or stupid or don't have silky hair (okay, so I also care about all of those things) but please, please find me hilarious. 

8. I am a practicing Mormon. I don't 100% believe in 100% of the LDS doctrine. I'm okay with that, and I'm not looking for you to convince me one way or the other. 

9. When I'm excited, I get really loud. Eventually this escalates to wordless happy screams punctuated by drunken seal claps. When I'm mad, really mad, I tend to be more eloquent and quiet. When I'm furious there may even be a British accent involved. It's pretty weird, actually.

10. Sunflowers are my favourite flowers, closely followed by anything that resembles a sunflower. 

from google

11. I unabashedly love cats. That fake e-harmony video where the girl starts crying because she wants to hug all the cats? that's basically me. As soon as I'm in a settled, stable living arrangement I'm going to foster kittens, and if I'm ever wildly wealthy I'm going to start a kitten therapy program where I take kittens to orphanages and mental hospitals and stuff because honestly, WHO DOESN'T LOVE KITTENS? oh man. Kittens. Aisch. 

Oh, Debbi. You feel me. 

12. I tend to listen to the same song over and over and over again, particularly if I've just discovered it or if I'm trying to focus on writing or homework. Today it's Ivan & Alyosha's Easy to Love.

Oh, Ivan & Alyosha. You...write nice music. 

13. I've always been hyper-critical of books, movies, and music, but for whatever reason this has never extended to TV. I'll watch pretty much anything on TV. I love television- I love how neatly a plot can be wrapped up in a 22 or 46 minute period, I love how a subplot can extend for a season or a series, I love not having to think about anything for the duration of a show. I know that last statement in particular is a valid argument for television rotting one's brain, but sometimes I can't deal with my own brain for hours or days or weeks on end, so I'm grateful that I have TV as an option.

14. Little-known fact here: I love weddings. Since I already have the crazy, cat-lover thing going for me, that's not something I like to throw out there that much- I don't really get the logic behind that either. Over the years I've restricted my wedding obsession to Sundays- church really stresses me out, so I reward my religious endeavors with hours browsing lace overlay gowns and flower arrangements involving lilies. 

15. Someday I would love to start a book club that only reads the memoirs of funny people. 

16. I take an obscene amount of pictures of myself. Always have. 

17. Fall is my favourite season- particularly fall on the east coast. 

18. I have no idea how to comfort or advise people. This is unfortunate, because for some reason people keep choosing to confide things in me. Why do you do this, people? Surely I am not the most trust inspiring person you know. I never shut up. Basically, if you come to me for advise I will tell you to drink some water. If you come to me because you are sad I will probably buy you some food and try to make you laugh. This is all I know how to do. 

19. Driving still terrifies me, but I love going for drives and listening to music. Really, the best way to listen to music is in a car, with the volume up so high that you're basically traveling in a sound-coccoon. 

20. I'm really tired of being really tired all the time.

Bonus Muppets video:

You and I and George

in which I plan to write 30 things

Here's the thing: I need to write more. I also don't feel like writing. So, in an attempt to deter my lack of motivation and build good writing things habits, I'm going to tackle one of these a day, every day, for thirty days.

Remember when I started a blog to chronicle my Africa adventures and then only wrote four posts, most of which were about my feelings? Sorry about that. Hopefully we'll get back to fun African story time soon. 

Here goes:
THE LIST:

1. List 20 random facts about yourself.
2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
3. Describe your relationship with your parents.
4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?
7. What is your dream job, and why?
8. What are 5 passions you have?
9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.
10. Describe your most embarrasing moment.
11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
13. Describe 5 weaknesses you have.
14. Describe 5 strengths you have.
15. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.
24. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What is your love language?
29. What do you think people misundertand most about you?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.