It's a quote from Blood Diamond, which I have not actually seen, but they did film it in a country where my dad was then working and Leo Dicaprio had to go into the embassy to get a visa issue ironed out and my own dear father could not be bothered to WALK DOWN THE HALL to go and see him. DOWN. THE HALL. TO LEONARDO DICAPRIO.
I feel this is an accurate portrayal of my father's work ethic and lack of appreciation for beautiful men.
I mean, he could have at least gotten me an autograph.
Anyways, here are some of my thoughts about Africa today:
-I keep forgetting this is a muslim country, which means they have delicious food to be had here. (Greek chicken wrap from the embassy caf, I am looking at you, my love.) They also totally have polygamy, which I keep forgetting about until I overhear conversations debating which wife should be invited to events. I'd say bring all the muslim sister wives because
a) I love me some sister wives, and
b) Ladies love to be invited places.
Then I realized that would not work out, as there would be no one left to babysit. Sorry, sister wives!
-To the toubab girls in booty shorts and mini skirts:
GO HOME AND PUT SOME CLOTHES ON.
If we were in your home country, I'd be all like, yeah! wear whatever you want! girl power!
BUT WE ARE NOT IN YOUR HOME COUNTRY. You are being disrespectful to your host nation, and your home nation. Shame on you.
(I am looking at you, French hipsters. You know better than that.)
Oh, also I've been walking down stairs on my crutches wrong (apparently you're just supposed to hop?) and I've been putting my life in danger THIS WHOLE TIME.
bonus african iphone picture:
Go home, Dakar taxies. You are drunk.